Who screwed up Michael Myers and Jason Voorhies so badly? Who cares!

Why do filmmakers feel the need to humanize their slasher villains? Give them a backstory and psychoanalysis?

I respect Rob Zombie as a filmmaker (and musician), but couldn't he have remade Halloween as is? Did I really need to know Mrs. Myers gyrated on stripper poles and wore tacky furry coats? Or that poor little Michael was the victim of a white-trash upbringing, really liked candy corn, and was superbummed his mother couldn't take him trick-or-treating? NO.
All I knew is that when I watched the Halloween movies, Michael Myers was an evil entity with no soul. He wasn't human. He couldn't be. That's what would terrify me, because how do you reason or fight your way out of an encounter with something like that? Come on, you could run like Flo-Jo while Michael just strode behind you in his ugly boots and he'd still pop up in front of you. If you begged for your life, he wouldn't think about it nor toy with you, much less let you go. He'd just tilt his empty head to the side and then plunge that knife or machete or ax or broom or plunger into your throat. The fact that his mother was cruel enough to allow Michael to walk around Haddonfield with that hideous haircut is irrelevant.

So now when I hear a remake of Friday the 13th is on its way, my real terror is not watching Jason Voorhies go on another blood spree. It's finding out Mrs. Voorhies loved her son too much or poor little Jason was pantsed one too many times in summer camp, and that's why he now slits your throat or smashes your skull in. I don't care! I just want to see Jason the evil entity hack up that poor loser who finally nailed the hot girl just as he's zipping his pants back up or chase that dumb girl back into the old shed she never should have gone to in the first place. The fact that his mother looked like a trannyglam Bea Arthur is irrelevant.

If I want a layered villain, I will watch a crime thriller thank you very much. Hannibal Lector was a sweet enough kid before his family was murdered. Jame Gumb wanted a vagina. Alex Forrest obviously had daddy issues even before she got dissed and started boiling bunnies. And we all know that Annie Wilkes could never get a cockadoodie date or slumber party invite in high school. Or ever. But do we really need to know Freddy Kruger was normal enough before the priest got his hands on him? NO.

Sometimes a villian, especially a slasher villain, just needs a story. Not a backstory, not a psychoanalysis. Just a story that will make me jump in my seat and keep the lights when I go to bed.